Between friends
by Lotten
Summary: Two conversations between friends concerning the mutual attraction between Sirius and Remus. Slash, sorta.


**A/N:**

First of all, to my girlfriend: Not this one. I'm still working on you-know-what.

To everyone else: Enjoy. A Remus/Sirius oneshot, because it was a heck of a long time ago.

* * *

**Between friends**

The place wasn't secret as much as hidden nowadays

The place wasn't secret as much as hidden nowadays. It had been secret when they used it to practise for the Animagus transformation, but now it was just a small sandbank by the lake that, incidentally, you couldn't see from the castle. Sirius came there to think; usually when he wanted to think about one person in particular. It worked well, because James and Peter didn't come there anymore – they had better secret locations at hand, should the need arise – but most importantly, he wasn't even sure that Remus knew of this place.

He was done thinking for this time, however, so he crept through the tunnel they'd made in the brambles that grew along the east side of the lake. Standing up and brushing the dead leaves and dirt off his robe, he didn't notice James until he almost walked right into him. It appeared he had been waiting for him.

"What…?! What are you doing here?" Sirius asked, not very graciously as he had been caught completely off guard by the appearance of his best friend in this place.

"Waiting for you, of course," James said, waving the Map in his face. Sirius was about to ask how come James had known that he didn't want to be disturbed, how come he'd waited outside, but swallowed the question before it reached his lips. He didn't dare to. Hopefully James, who could be very perceptive when he wanted to – a bit too perceptive, sometimes – had just figured that Sirius was in one of his broody moods, had opted for discretion in favour of having his head bit off.

"Why're you looking for me?" he asked instead, contriving to look more at ease before James would notice tension and ask him what was wrong.

"I want to talk to you," James replied, scrutinizing his friend in a way more knowing than Sirius was really comfortable with.

"About what?" Sirius started to abruptly walk towards the castle, and inwardly cursed himself for that impulse, since it signalled uneasiness with big, red semaphore flags. And the way James just took a few running steps to catch up, and then walked alongside Sirius in a completely unconcerned manner didn't make it better. It was as if his best friend's behaviour didn't surprise him at all. It was made apparent by his answer that it didn't.

"About the fact that you're pining for somebody," James said evenly.

Sirius stopped dead in his tracks, spinning around so that he could face his friend, but he couldn't think of what to say. So he simply stared. James, who had also stopped, sighed deeply.

"Look, it wasn't that hard to figure out. Pining is what I do, right? I pine therefore I am. I've been doing nothing else since our third year. So don't you think I'd notice id my best friend is doing the same? Honestly."

Sirius looked away, feeling stupid beyond belief, but he'd be damned if he admitted it. "I didn't want anyone to know."

"Well, bummer. I do, and I've known for quite a while." Sirius was still staring at his own feet, but he could hear the hurt tone in James' voice when he continued. "I don't know why you're making such a fuss. Don't you trust me? I trusted you."

Sirius grimaced in irritation. "You don't understand. It's different for me."

"Why, because you fancy a bloke? Can't say it makes much difference from where I'm standing."

Sirius spluttered in shock. "What?!"

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know you fancy Moony. Big deal."

"But… You don't mind?" Sirius stared at James as if he'd just confessed his love for Dumbledore, and James grinned widely, obviously amused by the reaction.

"Mind? You being a pansy?" He shrugged, his grin growing wider yet. "The way I see it, you'd probably chew off your right arm before you went after _me_, and that's the only thing that really _would_ disturb me."

"You ever call me a pansy again, Potter…" Sirius growled threateningly, and now James laughed out loud.

"Fine then. I won't. I just wanted you to know that whatever you do call it, I'm perfectly fine with it. Okay?"

"Okay." Finally, Sirius managed to return James' smile. "So you're not upset at all?"

James boxed him on the arm. "Unless you count being bloody pissed with you for being a right prat and not telling me."

"Hey!" Sirius laughed and tried to fend James off. "It was embarrassing, okay? I mean… Moony is…"

"Our friend. Yeah, I know. I _get_ it, see? I mean, I don't have _those_ feelings for him, obviously, but since he's my friend too I can sort of… imagine."

Now Sirius grinned. "I doubt it."

"How come?"

"Well, for example, has the thought ever struck you that we're sharing dorm? Just imagine Evans changing clothes in front of you almost every single day. How's that for a thought?"

James thought this over. A sly smile slowly spread over his face. "I wish I was gay too."

Sirius blushed and slapped James hard over the shoulder. "Bastard! It's actually really embarrassing!"

"Perhaps," James conceded, unperturbed. "But I certainly wouldn't mind the opportunity, and don't tell me you do either, because _that_ would make you a big fat liar, and you know it."

Sirius couldn't help smiling, even if he still looked a bit flustered. "Well, sometimes it's quite… nice…"

"Hah! I can imagine."

As they sat down on the sunny side of their favourite tree to talk, Sirius felt more elated than he had in a long, long time. Of course, Remus would probably never return his feelings, but at least now he had someone to talk to about it. He'd hoped that this was how James'd react, but he knew that if James hadn't figured it out on his own, Sirius would never have known what he'd think about it. Because he'd never, ever have dared tell him. Not even his best friend.

* * *

Sirius and James sat down out of sight from the point of view of one of the Gryffindor tower windows, and Remus closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall. He knew he should find something constructive to do, something to distract himself with, but it was as if just looking at Sirius siphoned all energy out of him.

"You know, I think he likes you too," said a quiet voice next to him, and if the window had been open, as it always was in the late spring, he would surely have jumped to his death out of sheer surprise. However, it was autumn, and the only thing he managed was to bang his elbow against the cold glass.

"Ow! Peter! Don't _do_ that!" And then, as his friend's words gradually sunk in, "What? Who likes me?" in a fake nonchalant voice that made Peter roll his eyes at him.

"Sirius, of course. You were watching him. You're always watching him."

"I'm not!" Remus protested, but knew that his blush was giving him away.

"Yes you are," Peter replied quietly, his gaze dropping. He looked nervous and agitated, but there was certainty in his voice. "You're in love with him."

There was a long, strained silence, and when Remus opened his mouth again he was interrupted before he managed to deny it once more. "You know, I'm really fine with it," Peter said hurriedly. "And I won't tell anyone, I promise." He looked up, sending Remus a pleading gaze. "Just please don't lie to me."

Remus exhaled slowly, relaxing a bit, but he still closed his eyes, as if it would become less real if he didn't have to witness himself admitting the truth. "Fine. I… I think I'm in love with him. At least I… care about him a lot more than a friend should."

"What do you mean, should?" Peter asked, sounding perplexed. "Who says you shouldn't?"

Remus laughed shortly, and there was little joy and a lot of sadness in that laughter. "No one, I suppose. But I… it doesn't feel like something a friend…"

"…_should_ feel. I get it." There tentative touch to Remus' shoulder, and he opened his eyes, surprised. Peter usually wasn't very physical, not even with his friends. The other boy smiled at him, a smile as hesitant as the touch. "But as I said, I don't think he would mind if he knew. I've seen you watching him, but I've also seen him watching you. He's a lot less discreet than you, actually."

Remus slowly shook his head, a blush once more spreading over his cheeks. "I find that hard to believe."

"I understand," Peter said sincerely. "It's… hard to believe that someone should… care for you that much." And somehow, the way he said it…

"Peter? Is there… someone…?"

Peter's smile grew a bit wider. "Yes. Yes, there is."

"Can I ask who?"

"You can ask." Peter sighed. "But I'm afraid I can't answer. It's… painful."

"Does… does she like someone else?"

"Well, yes." There was something fleeting in the way he said it, and he didn't quite meet Remus' gaze, but Remus could see that the subject upset him, so he decided to let it be. Instead he stood up.

"I'm going to the library. Are you coming?"

"I… think I'm just going to stay here for a while."

Remus frowned, but Peter didn't appear to see him. He was staring out the window now, looking tired, and Remus was worried.

"Hey, Peter… I'm sure it's not as impossible as you think. After all, you never know, right?" And with that, he left his friend to ponder the murky day outside.

As the door closed, Peter smiled sadly and shook his head. "Bet you half a dollar, Moony?" he said softly.

Outside, James stood up and left Sirius to his contemplations, unaware of the eyes that were watching him.


End file.
